Reviews for a horse made of legos, aha! the Halo tv show, tacky applications of bedazzling gems, great things in Downtown Abbey: The Grand Finale, and the gift of Count Chocula.

Reviews for recipe books and people being rude to Rudy, TV doctors and tasty chili. And a whole bushel of apple rankings to set your phaser to fall.

Reviews for putting pepperoni in a pudgy pie maker, being outdoorsy boys with a spiked pet vest, and swearing and spending money with The Catcher in The Rye by JD Salinger.

Reviews for using car cleaning goo with Virgil, avoiding plumes of noxious fumes with bamboo toilet paper, cataloguing personal missteps at Howie's Pizza, throwing burgers at McDonald's in Yakima, and C O M E D Y with 'Night Patrol' (1984).

Reviews a manly loofa, the secret to eternal youth: urea cream, crashing through dimensions at Panera Bread, doing bad things to a Hello Kitty mug, and having canoli coffee flavoring with some Lil' Joe Pescis.

Reviews this week we have the fluid dynamics of scent with 'bald butter' lotion, a deckle-edged leather-bound notebook, and getting together with the whole goofy gang at Gresham's Cinema and Wunderland.

Reviews for human experiences in 'Flight From Hell', becoming as small and malnourished as possible with 'Seabiscuit' (2003), having a smile and a chat at a Illinois Jewel-Osco grocery, and avoiding the proverbial marble via a Burger King gift card.

Reviews for barrels of Fla-vor-ice popsicles, doing mental math mind games with sugar free Jelly Belly's, sipping my choccy milk with Hershey syrup, escaping the purgatory that is an Illinois highway oasis in Tessa Kane's 'Lone Wolf', and gunshot noise Dead or Alive 3 for Xbox.

Reviews for sea dragons (sea monkeys' sickest rebrand yet), the Kentucky Fried Movie (for the real perverts in the crowd), the not so Fantastic Four cartoon, the effects of ginseng and herbal cigarettes, and a taste of what Sheryl Crow does to your brain, your life, your id.

Reviews for the lovely la gon ma, smelling salts and their various techniques, confidence and male hair sculpting putty, Alien (1979), and becoming an enlightened bald with a head razor.

Reviews for protein obsessed-people and their microwaveable pork rinds, holding lightning with Disney's Hercules (1997), honey stinger energy waffles (to offset a goo dependency), the implication of piss in Dumb and Dumber (1994), and a nasty bag of onions ordered off of Amazon.

Reviews for Sour Strips candy, being bewildered with 'Surf Ninjas', going fast with 'Redline', and 'Falcon: Destiney's Enforcers' by April D Berry.

Reviews for Long John Silvers, your ego and id within a glass elephant statue, gosh darn fruit punch capri sun, Friends and also how we feel about Friends, and wishing physics weren't real on wave boards.

Reviews for City Crisis on the PS2, getting into the dehydration lifestyle with banana chips, waking up and craving at Flying Biscuit Cafe in South Carolina, responsibilities and IMDB's most popular Dexter review, and Sargento's gouda cheese.

Reviews for frozen beef from Nebraska via Amazon, dealing with coupons at a highway-side Burger King, the work horses of the feet: socks, and busting a vacuum.

Reviews for "user-friendly" muriatic acid, the bucket hats in Good Burger (1997), we mainline some honey mustard with a look at Dot's Pretzels, and how not to cook Cacique chorizo.

Reviews for eating pale chicken in boxer briefs, purging the impurities with some of that sticky cleaning goo, avoiding spaghetti and pterodactyls at the Brookfield Zoo, embracing out evolution with Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 on the GBA, and watching Lilo & Stitch(2002) "differently".

Reviews for reasing up your gaming mouse, getting the goons together for the Fisher Price Joker Bot, enjoying fine architecture at the Zao Island Amusement Center, hitting one for the old heads with a visit to Nothing Bundt Cakes, and a really weird movie called 'Big Baby'.

Reviews for becoming a youth pastor with Karate Kid, getting slushed at 7/11, keyboarding maxing with a Steel Series, some crispy Garnier Fructis shampoo, and partaking in rare delights at the Northside Bakery.