Reviews for becoming a youth pastor with Karate Kid, getting slushed at 7/11, keyboarding maxing with a Steel Series, some crispy Garnier Fructis shampoo, and partaking in rare delights at the Northside Bakery.

Eeviews for khaki shorts at Kohl's return counter, going beyond the pale with Bro Glo sunless tan, giving toddlers "explosive" preworkout, and a wannabe shifter romance novel.

Reviews for an allegedly special ice maker, seeing Batman Villains in reality TV's "Beyond Scared Straight", those fancy electric water guns, going on a thirst-quenching warpath with Liquid Death tea flavors, and a bubble "bazooka".

Reviews for nasty little plastic water bottles, dangerously advancing temporary tattoo technology, throwing bricks at kiddie pools, an ugly and expensive but wonderful Stitch toy, and the dark implications of having a pet pig on a leash.

Reviews for black licorice twizzlers, My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade, a Tony Hawk skateboard, and 'Pitch Black'.

Reviews for Banjo Kazooie AND Banjo Kazooie: Nut and Bolts, a Disney World-esque trip to the Wisconsin Grocery king Woodman's, getting dragged into the darkness by your track meet warmup running parachute, and some divisive workout powder.

Reviews for a Piggly Wiggly in Talladega, bursting bully sticks dog treats, big ol' Tiger Tail massage rollers, a novel called 'Heartwood', sucking up some Taco Johns, and getting nerdy with 'Gachiakuta'.

Reviews for the album Frizzle Fry by the very bassy Primus, Scooby Doo fruit snacks, a Valvoline Instant Oil Change in Tacoma, and those silly Magic Eye books.

Reviews for clover-moss type chlorophyll supplements, saw palmetto extracts to mainline, Downer's Grove South high school, enjoying the soap opera for old men that is American Chopper, and partying with the Kids Next Door.

Reviews for a presence in Steven's Restaurant, the possibilities of english muffins, kind of a review for the Temu app, Fantastic Four comics, and getting wild off turmeric supplements.

Reviews for getting jokey at Dave and Busters, being afraid of ‘Harley Quinn: Fartacular’, ‘Shadowhunters’ on Netflix, and reducing power on the Chevy Malibu.

Reviews for TV mounts, Wild Things Fur hat store, mushroom-shaped epoxy molds, 'Bug Wars', and the Trap Museum.

Reviews for pre-toejammed high heals, protein-infused knock-off pop-tarts, gel-cooled aftermarket gamer headphone earmuffs, and a couple of rateyourmusic reviews featuring The Offspring and Bloodhound Gang.

Reviews of the finest espadrilles, whipped cream sunscreen, a backpack exclusively for GIRLS (and Easter), and to brighten things up, our favorite anime of all time (and also the greatest).

We're talking LED lights and DJ Real Baby, a not so handy pizza cutter, the soy sweats and a solid dude, air and souls in cans, deeeeep cleanses, bum bum cream, and getting your kid to go to sleep.

Some reviews for The Chocolate Touch by Patrick Skene Catling, the Subaru Baja for the subie boys, Starved Rock State Park, and a Petco cat tree.

Reviews for hosing down the bros at Nearly New Auto & Truck, purchasing Hershey's kisses, the 1up Pacman Arcade thing, absolutely Absolute Wonder Woman, and getting real sporty at Sports Clips.

Reviews for a possibly horrible dentist in Louisiana, preworkout with a fun flavor, pressure cookers and all the things you shouldn't put in them, Joe's Hardware in Chicago, and an Indiana Jones themed Escape Room.

Reviews for fantastical light bulbs, L-tryptophan supplements, Passengers (2016), Miss Congeniality (2000), the new Iron Man comic (2024), and the world's largest Superman statue.

Reviews for Hindquarter in Kansas, the (newest version) Amazon Fire Stick, a folding message table that really gets around, zbiotics probiotic REALLYbiotic drinks, Big Chicken Town in Vancouver, and The Suds Hut in Montana.